day 1 of trying to learn to blog again...

Thanks to TheTaterTwins I'm re-introducing myself.

*waves*

I'm Connie, i'm justifiably me.
I'm a crazy divorced/single mother of 2 great kids.
and i suck at this ...
you should just go read this...for a REAL intro post (clicky clicky)

i really wanted to start writing again...and i'm having a hard time getting my fingers to strike the keys in a sequence long enough to put together a long runon sentence. LOL

*geez*

so yah, i'm trying to learn to blog/write again...so i'm gonna do this 30 days thingy here. i'm sure that before it's over, you'll be wishing i'll go away again and i'm cool with that. just leave comment love on the way to your knees to pray for that. LOL

things that are most important to me that i will probably draw something to write about from....

*my children
*my other family members
*my friends
*the furbabies (kitties)
*the ex hubs (whipping boy)
*music
*writing

eh i think that's about it. OH and desserts, esp chocolate.

tata.

(and for those who follow me twice, i'm x-posting this from my livejournal acct. mainly bc i can...and i don't want to type it all out again. LOL)

under the peanuts...

as a mother of a growing boy i already know not to "smell this" when a finger is extended toward me. i know to just say NO when he runs up to me and shrieks, "hey mom! smell my armpit!" unless i know for certain that he's put his favorite "duh-doh-derant" on...

what i am not prepared for is....

"good morning mom. you didn't wake me up. my penis did." (0_0)

or

"hey mom. you know my nerds. yanno, under my peanuts, my nerds, then that sac? yah those things in that sac? don't pinch them. they make your hips hurt."

you just try hiding a horrified face and then not laugh your fool head off while trying to explain that his "nerds" are in that sac and NO you don't pinch them....



there's not enough coffee in the free world that could have prepared me for this morning.....

groped yourself lately?

yah i asked? grab them bewbs and feel yourself up...thoroughly!!!!

i figured it'd be just as easy to post a fair-warning here to direct my new twitter followers toward, so come wednesday, there's no huge shocker from my knockers.

every wed, i participate w/ an awesome group of people on twitter who pass along the #boobiewed message. @boobiewed was created by @honey_is_evil & @shimmer418, two of the most wonderful women on twitter. they are driven to pass on a beautifully motivated message. and that message is simple.
don't forget to do your self-(breast)exams.
and in delivering this message, we have a lil fun. our avi's sport boobies...some people are bold enough to show their own breasties (mostly cleavage, but hey, don't judge). some portray animated mammories. some find tata's on the web & show them. but it's a "shock & awe" way to draw attention to the cause. we have people who support us who are fighters, survivors, friends & loved ones of those fighting & surviving, and we have friends & loved ones of those lost...there's not ONE person who helps spread the #boobiewed luv that hasn't been touched in some way by cancer.


(by request, graphic provided by (& gifted to @boobiewed) by my lovely friend Liz ~ click to link directly to @boobiewed's website)

of course we do have some haters. we have some people who accuse us of being porn pushers. It's a small minority of people who don't understand nor do they want to. And they're entitled their opinions and i, of course, remind them of the option to unfollow me or block me if they wish. respectively, of course. i won't push my views (of boobs or about boobs) on to them unwillingly.

but every week the message is the same. EVERYONE, SELF EXAM!!!! early detection **is** our best defense. Fact is that breast cancer doesn't care if you're male or female...young or old. it doesn't care if you're rich or poor, it doesn't care about your race or your religion. It's an equal opportunist & will attempt to take your life...regardless of who you are...

so please remember to self exam. if you need direction on how to correctly "touch yourself", the boobie wednesday blog offers a great instructional. click here.

feel yourself up now...it can save your life!

oh & if you haven't seen the pink glove dance, you're missing out.

much ado about nothing...

wow. i can't believe it's been 3 mths since i updated. actually i am not so shocked by that. seriously. i talk it in spurts. in my defense, not that i need a defense, but anyway, in these last few mths i've moved myself, helped move my sister & now (hopefully) real life is settling down a lil bit and i can become a bit of a post whore again.

i do hope all is well w/ you all. i appreciate the follow even when i haven't posted anything tremendous in well, forever. but now yanno, it's not a dead blog :)

peace & love be with you.

Lost (and i don't mean the TV show)

i seldom write anymore...sometimes i think i do myself a grave injustice. there are times i just feel so smothered by my own mind, that i can choke my own spirit...tis a struggle sometimes indeed. and after i create something, i'm often left feeling relieved & inspired. Writing is such a healthy outlet to say whatever needs to be said to let our spirits soar & our mind rest....and in many cases, it lets our hearts heal.

for those who are close to me, you know that i have encountered some pretty heavy emotional purging the last couple wks. In a very emotional chat w/ my lovely soul twin (@grnladybug) i started pouring out my thoughts...and after reading back over them, i realized...i had created w/o intent...just speaking thru my keys...and you know what?! it felt goooooood.

it brought forth a lot of pain...and brought about equal amounts of comfort. and since having done so, along w/ much prayer, i am feeling better...and feeling stronger. i have the love of many people on me...and i'm good with that...

i don't normally share much of what i've written...mainly b/c it leaves me vulnerable, a part, so many know, i don't play well at all...which is probably even more reason i feel the need to share it. so keep reading if your interested...and thank you for accompanying me on this part of my journey.

(warmest love from me to you)

Lost.

I can't stop the shattering
No, not this time.
it does not matter how fiercely I protect
This fractured heart of mine

The tears flow down in rivers
Dropping from my cheeks,
Salty tears and painful thoughts
Into my heart they creep.

I wrap myself in my loving arms
And rock with my despair
No matter how much I wanted him
He simply couldn't care.

He couldn't stay and love me back
Even though he did, he claims.
He had to go before I hurt him first
In his own heart, he bears this shame.

So we are apart it seems
As life and minds dictate.
His gentle voice and loving touch
I'll never more partake.
~cLo
02/15/2010

make no BONES about it...see the movie...

have you read The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold? If you have not...you should. But do yourself a favor...see the movie FIRST.



having read this book several times (and by several, i mean at least 3 times), i had a certain expectation of the movie. admittedly, i was all assuming that some massive injustice was about to take place as i took my seat for the viewing of the big screen adaption. my expectation was that director, peter jackson completely butchered the book (pun not intended). c'mon, i was trying to be realistic here. we know how a "movie based on the best selling novel" usually goes. but at the last minute, i decided that i could watch the movie with an open mind (translate: pretend that i'd never read the book) and relieve myself of any predetermined opinions that I might have (did) form based on reviews of friends who saw the film before i had the opportunity. and i have to say, i walked away pleasantly surprised.

however...

mr. jackson, while depicting the story semi-close to the way it's written, there were a couple key elements that i felt that you grossly overlooked. firstly, i think you missed the mark on developing the characters of Ray & Ruth. these two characters forge a remarkable friendship within the pages of the book. i would have loved to have seen more of that on screen. another missed mark, in my opinion, was lack of relationship between the detective & susie's parents, specifically her mother. also during the scenes when her mother returned from her lil "healing hiatus." i don't recall the book handling the reunion as an immediate happy reconciliation of the family. i plan on reading the book again as soon as i can recover my copy (still packed from moving). i feel the need to refresh on this, just to be certain.

overall, i believe it was a good movie. i'm confident now that the B+ rating that i saw posted on Yahoo! was well deserved. on a side note, i did watch the movie with someone who'd never read the book. she informed me that she will be reading the book ASAP as she rambled on briefly about how much she liked the movie and she's eager to compare the two. it'll be interesting to hear what she has to say as well...

the true meaning of life...

(as requested by @briankl92 - i luv u man!!)

"what is the meaning of life?"...now there's a question that has plagued me for about as long as i can remember. i thought i knew the answer once or twice back in my early 20s. i would realize that it really wasn't chocolate chips, rolled onto a spoonful of peanut butter. nor was it managing to ration it and not fully consume it before i came down.

i wrote about the secrecy of the meaning of life alot in old journals that i wish i hadn't destroyed. i could compare my answers...b/c i think today, almost *cough* 20 years later, i truly can say that i FINALLY know the true meaning...

the truth is that in order to truly embrace and understand the true meaning of life, we must first be able to understand what truly matters most to us in this life. Once we have soulfully & honestly muddled thru our compilation of our desires & needs, we break it down to the basics. Then the true meaning is revealed unto us.

my list was fairly simple...
(and not particularly ordered)

*happiness
*love
*family
*friendship
*spirituality
*growth

now keep in mind...

we cannot truly appreciate true happiness, unless we've known a great saddness.
we cannot truly experience love without experiencing the great pains that come with the opposite.
we cannot truly treasure our families & friends unless we've ever encountered a time when we've felt truly alone.
we cannot grow personally or spiritually unless we've opened our minds to accept the gifts of the universe (my gifts come from God)...and in accepting those gifts, further growth is obtained when we can comprehend the idea that sometimes those gifts are not of that we want, but in some form or fashion, those gifts are exactly what we need. or will need. embrace those gifts.

life itself is a journey.
the journey for every person is different.
and each journey serves its purpose.

if you're asking me, and @briankl92 did...i think the true meaning of life is revealed in the purpose of your personal journey.

so sit back, ponder & speculate, what's your purpose?



and totally off topic...
does anyone else see this sunset above and feel the urge to cry out... "SERENITY"...?!?! yah me either ;)