the true meaning of life...

(as requested by @briankl92 - i luv u man!!)

"what is the meaning of life?"...now there's a question that has plagued me for about as long as i can remember. i thought i knew the answer once or twice back in my early 20s. i would realize that it really wasn't chocolate chips, rolled onto a spoonful of peanut butter. nor was it managing to ration it and not fully consume it before i came down.

i wrote about the secrecy of the meaning of life alot in old journals that i wish i hadn't destroyed. i could compare my answers...b/c i think today, almost *cough* 20 years later, i truly can say that i FINALLY know the true meaning...

the truth is that in order to truly embrace and understand the true meaning of life, we must first be able to understand what truly matters most to us in this life. Once we have soulfully & honestly muddled thru our compilation of our desires & needs, we break it down to the basics. Then the true meaning is revealed unto us.

my list was fairly simple...
(and not particularly ordered)

*happiness
*love
*family
*friendship
*spirituality
*growth

now keep in mind...

we cannot truly appreciate true happiness, unless we've known a great saddness.
we cannot truly experience love without experiencing the great pains that come with the opposite.
we cannot truly treasure our families & friends unless we've ever encountered a time when we've felt truly alone.
we cannot grow personally or spiritually unless we've opened our minds to accept the gifts of the universe (my gifts come from God)...and in accepting those gifts, further growth is obtained when we can comprehend the idea that sometimes those gifts are not of that we want, but in some form or fashion, those gifts are exactly what we need. or will need. embrace those gifts.

life itself is a journey.
the journey for every person is different.
and each journey serves its purpose.

if you're asking me, and @briankl92 did...i think the true meaning of life is revealed in the purpose of your personal journey.

so sit back, ponder & speculate, what's your purpose?



and totally off topic...
does anyone else see this sunset above and feel the urge to cry out... "SERENITY"...?!?! yah me either ;)

waiting for that other shoe to drop...

anyone who's ever had a good thing come to its end, nearly immediately after its started, you know exactly what i'm talking about...
the proverbial "other shoe."
and that other shoe often drops on me...
usually clunking me right in the damn head midst its plummet...

and what's sad?
sometimes i expect it.
seriously.
it's like i await its arrival like it's the mate to a brand new pair of Bottega Venata Lace-up Ankle Boot.
::drool::

and i don't even know why.

i mean, i know i deserve goodness in my life.
so why i would anticipate something to come along & mess it up, i sometimes cannot comprehend. i mean, it does happen. alot. and true that, if it wasn't for bad luck, i'd probably not have a bit of luck at all...

when the good begins,
i do wait...
for the good to end.
all too often.
whether i've found this said goodness in my job, my relationship, or maybe it's just how well the kids are behaving on a random tuesday evening...
it doesn't matter.
if the going is good, i will keep looking for the other shoe to fall, just hoping to dodge it before it strikes me in the noggin,
creating chaos & fuckery in its path.
i'm all to familiar with that anyway.

funnily enough,
i LOVE shoes. ooh i do.
i love owning them, but i hate wearing them.
and if i must, put me in a pair of birkenstocks or flipflops.
i do believe in the given rule of, "open toes, til it snows"
...then i wear socks...

why i stalk a shoe i'd never want to really wear to begin with, i do not know.
go figure.

ooooh i wonder if i can get that boot in brown?!?!!?