Lost (and i don't mean the TV show)

i seldom write anymore...sometimes i think i do myself a grave injustice. there are times i just feel so smothered by my own mind, that i can choke my own spirit...tis a struggle sometimes indeed. and after i create something, i'm often left feeling relieved & inspired. Writing is such a healthy outlet to say whatever needs to be said to let our spirits soar & our mind rest....and in many cases, it lets our hearts heal.

for those who are close to me, you know that i have encountered some pretty heavy emotional purging the last couple wks. In a very emotional chat w/ my lovely soul twin (@grnladybug) i started pouring out my thoughts...and after reading back over them, i realized...i had created w/o intent...just speaking thru my keys...and you know what?! it felt goooooood.

it brought forth a lot of pain...and brought about equal amounts of comfort. and since having done so, along w/ much prayer, i am feeling better...and feeling stronger. i have the love of many people on me...and i'm good with that...

i don't normally share much of what i've written...mainly b/c it leaves me vulnerable, a part, so many know, i don't play well at all...which is probably even more reason i feel the need to share it. so keep reading if your interested...and thank you for accompanying me on this part of my journey.

(warmest love from me to you)

Lost.

I can't stop the shattering
No, not this time.
it does not matter how fiercely I protect
This fractured heart of mine

The tears flow down in rivers
Dropping from my cheeks,
Salty tears and painful thoughts
Into my heart they creep.

I wrap myself in my loving arms
And rock with my despair
No matter how much I wanted him
He simply couldn't care.

He couldn't stay and love me back
Even though he did, he claims.
He had to go before I hurt him first
In his own heart, he bears this shame.

So we are apart it seems
As life and minds dictate.
His gentle voice and loving touch
I'll never more partake.
~cLo
02/15/2010