groped yourself lately?

yah i asked? grab them bewbs and feel yourself up...thoroughly!!!!

i figured it'd be just as easy to post a fair-warning here to direct my new twitter followers toward, so come wednesday, there's no huge shocker from my knockers.

every wed, i participate w/ an awesome group of people on twitter who pass along the #boobiewed message. @boobiewed was created by @honey_is_evil & @shimmer418, two of the most wonderful women on twitter. they are driven to pass on a beautifully motivated message. and that message is simple.
don't forget to do your self-(breast)exams.
and in delivering this message, we have a lil fun. our avi's sport boobies...some people are bold enough to show their own breasties (mostly cleavage, but hey, don't judge). some portray animated mammories. some find tata's on the web & show them. but it's a "shock & awe" way to draw attention to the cause. we have people who support us who are fighters, survivors, friends & loved ones of those fighting & surviving, and we have friends & loved ones of those lost...there's not ONE person who helps spread the #boobiewed luv that hasn't been touched in some way by cancer.


(by request, graphic provided by (& gifted to @boobiewed) by my lovely friend Liz ~ click to link directly to @boobiewed's website)

of course we do have some haters. we have some people who accuse us of being porn pushers. It's a small minority of people who don't understand nor do they want to. And they're entitled their opinions and i, of course, remind them of the option to unfollow me or block me if they wish. respectively, of course. i won't push my views (of boobs or about boobs) on to them unwillingly.

but every week the message is the same. EVERYONE, SELF EXAM!!!! early detection **is** our best defense. Fact is that breast cancer doesn't care if you're male or female...young or old. it doesn't care if you're rich or poor, it doesn't care about your race or your religion. It's an equal opportunist & will attempt to take your life...regardless of who you are...

so please remember to self exam. if you need direction on how to correctly "touch yourself", the boobie wednesday blog offers a great instructional. click here.

feel yourself up now...it can save your life!

oh & if you haven't seen the pink glove dance, you're missing out.

much ado about nothing...

wow. i can't believe it's been 3 mths since i updated. actually i am not so shocked by that. seriously. i talk it in spurts. in my defense, not that i need a defense, but anyway, in these last few mths i've moved myself, helped move my sister & now (hopefully) real life is settling down a lil bit and i can become a bit of a post whore again.

i do hope all is well w/ you all. i appreciate the follow even when i haven't posted anything tremendous in well, forever. but now yanno, it's not a dead blog :)

peace & love be with you.

Lost (and i don't mean the TV show)

i seldom write anymore...sometimes i think i do myself a grave injustice. there are times i just feel so smothered by my own mind, that i can choke my own spirit...tis a struggle sometimes indeed. and after i create something, i'm often left feeling relieved & inspired. Writing is such a healthy outlet to say whatever needs to be said to let our spirits soar & our mind rest....and in many cases, it lets our hearts heal.

for those who are close to me, you know that i have encountered some pretty heavy emotional purging the last couple wks. In a very emotional chat w/ my lovely soul twin (@grnladybug) i started pouring out my thoughts...and after reading back over them, i realized...i had created w/o intent...just speaking thru my keys...and you know what?! it felt goooooood.

it brought forth a lot of pain...and brought about equal amounts of comfort. and since having done so, along w/ much prayer, i am feeling better...and feeling stronger. i have the love of many people on me...and i'm good with that...

i don't normally share much of what i've written...mainly b/c it leaves me vulnerable, a part, so many know, i don't play well at all...which is probably even more reason i feel the need to share it. so keep reading if your interested...and thank you for accompanying me on this part of my journey.

(warmest love from me to you)

Lost.

I can't stop the shattering
No, not this time.
it does not matter how fiercely I protect
This fractured heart of mine

The tears flow down in rivers
Dropping from my cheeks,
Salty tears and painful thoughts
Into my heart they creep.

I wrap myself in my loving arms
And rock with my despair
No matter how much I wanted him
He simply couldn't care.

He couldn't stay and love me back
Even though he did, he claims.
He had to go before I hurt him first
In his own heart, he bears this shame.

So we are apart it seems
As life and minds dictate.
His gentle voice and loving touch
I'll never more partake.
~cLo
02/15/2010

make no BONES about it...see the movie...

have you read The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold? If you have not...you should. But do yourself a favor...see the movie FIRST.



having read this book several times (and by several, i mean at least 3 times), i had a certain expectation of the movie. admittedly, i was all assuming that some massive injustice was about to take place as i took my seat for the viewing of the big screen adaption. my expectation was that director, peter jackson completely butchered the book (pun not intended). c'mon, i was trying to be realistic here. we know how a "movie based on the best selling novel" usually goes. but at the last minute, i decided that i could watch the movie with an open mind (translate: pretend that i'd never read the book) and relieve myself of any predetermined opinions that I might have (did) form based on reviews of friends who saw the film before i had the opportunity. and i have to say, i walked away pleasantly surprised.

however...

mr. jackson, while depicting the story semi-close to the way it's written, there were a couple key elements that i felt that you grossly overlooked. firstly, i think you missed the mark on developing the characters of Ray & Ruth. these two characters forge a remarkable friendship within the pages of the book. i would have loved to have seen more of that on screen. another missed mark, in my opinion, was lack of relationship between the detective & susie's parents, specifically her mother. also during the scenes when her mother returned from her lil "healing hiatus." i don't recall the book handling the reunion as an immediate happy reconciliation of the family. i plan on reading the book again as soon as i can recover my copy (still packed from moving). i feel the need to refresh on this, just to be certain.

overall, i believe it was a good movie. i'm confident now that the B+ rating that i saw posted on Yahoo! was well deserved. on a side note, i did watch the movie with someone who'd never read the book. she informed me that she will be reading the book ASAP as she rambled on briefly about how much she liked the movie and she's eager to compare the two. it'll be interesting to hear what she has to say as well...

the true meaning of life...

(as requested by @briankl92 - i luv u man!!)

"what is the meaning of life?"...now there's a question that has plagued me for about as long as i can remember. i thought i knew the answer once or twice back in my early 20s. i would realize that it really wasn't chocolate chips, rolled onto a spoonful of peanut butter. nor was it managing to ration it and not fully consume it before i came down.

i wrote about the secrecy of the meaning of life alot in old journals that i wish i hadn't destroyed. i could compare my answers...b/c i think today, almost *cough* 20 years later, i truly can say that i FINALLY know the true meaning...

the truth is that in order to truly embrace and understand the true meaning of life, we must first be able to understand what truly matters most to us in this life. Once we have soulfully & honestly muddled thru our compilation of our desires & needs, we break it down to the basics. Then the true meaning is revealed unto us.

my list was fairly simple...
(and not particularly ordered)

*happiness
*love
*family
*friendship
*spirituality
*growth

now keep in mind...

we cannot truly appreciate true happiness, unless we've known a great saddness.
we cannot truly experience love without experiencing the great pains that come with the opposite.
we cannot truly treasure our families & friends unless we've ever encountered a time when we've felt truly alone.
we cannot grow personally or spiritually unless we've opened our minds to accept the gifts of the universe (my gifts come from God)...and in accepting those gifts, further growth is obtained when we can comprehend the idea that sometimes those gifts are not of that we want, but in some form or fashion, those gifts are exactly what we need. or will need. embrace those gifts.

life itself is a journey.
the journey for every person is different.
and each journey serves its purpose.

if you're asking me, and @briankl92 did...i think the true meaning of life is revealed in the purpose of your personal journey.

so sit back, ponder & speculate, what's your purpose?



and totally off topic...
does anyone else see this sunset above and feel the urge to cry out... "SERENITY"...?!?! yah me either ;)

goodbye 2009. thanks for many things...

i'm saying adios. au revoir. slán leat. arrivederci. all hail to 2009. wish i could say i'm sad you're leaving. however, i can't. what i can say is that i'm glad you came.

this year started off wonderfully. i was with a man that i loved, had my children around me. life was. happy.sad.joyful.dramatic.traumatic. then the breakup came. my mother fell ill. i uprooted my children when i moved them 4 hours away from their school to go take care of my mother. their father & i have been separated for nearly 4 yrs now. but moving was still hard for them, as 4 hrs now also parted them from their father which they usually saw 6 days a wk. there are sooo many things that i can cry about. but i have been blessed with many things that i can laugh about.

so THANK YOU GOD for the many blessings of 2009...
(and just a few to be mentioned in no particular order)

*thank you for giving me the opportunity to make new memories for myself, my children & my mother. had she not gotten so sick, we wouldn't have moved to be with her. we'd be missing out.

*thank you for the breakup. this relationship taught me so many things. while i know NOW that it was too much too soon, i was given the chance to experience true love again. and while it came at the price of a beautiful friendship, and i'll forever miss it, i do know what i'm capable of feeling. and sharing.

*thank you for reuniting me with a different friend. this friend was given to me at the age of 18. And we've had a couple hiatus in our long tenure. But God, you keep putting this man back into my life for a reason. i'm open to those reasons, whatever those reasons are...whatever those reasons will be. i know if the situation had not changed in my life prior (the breakup) that this reconciliation would have not happened. i'm grateful for Your foresight. and for letting me appreciate the hindsight.

*thank you for the many new friendships that i've been blessed with. i'm saddened at the dissolution of some friendships & the strain of others, but i do know that i'm truly blessed with many new people in my life. and for the longevity of those friendships, some short term, some for the long haul. i'm grateful.

*thank you for strengthening my Faith. God, You've shown me Your Grace & Mercy. I know i'm no where near the perfect child, but i do try to be a good person. I believe that i'm rewarded greatly by the blessings bestowed upon me. i do hope that even tho i fall short of thanking You for each one...that my gratitude is seen in other ways.

so there we go. key things that i'm grateful that 2009 brought with it. i'm waving my lil hankie at its departure. 2009 definitely leaves me with some very bittersweet memories...but i'm anxious to see what rolls around next....

so hello, 2010. so nice to meet you. let's see what you've brought with you....

25 things you'll prolly wish you never knew...

you can blame thank Worldofmomma for this...she's the one who tagged me. :)

last chance to turn back.....cuz here we go w/ the 25 THINGS YOU'LL PROLLY WISH YOU NEVER KNEW....


Q1) name someone famous you share a birthday with
A) well according to this site, i share a birthday with Anita Baker, Kirk Franklin, Eddie Van Halen & Paul Newman...yanno. just to name a few...

Q2) where was your first kiss?
A) hahah. this is a great memory for me. i was 7 or 8 years old & it was with my favorite summer buddy, Denny. he was an older man, just at 9 yo. he spent summers w/ his grandparents, who lived on the farm across the hills from us. he & his gramps had driven their old truck up our gravel road to visit. while his Gramps Brock & my daddy visited, Denny & i went about playing. we climbed the tree in the backyard. we were maybe 200 feet (on the ground of course) from our folks. i cant help but giggle as i reminisce about this...we were sitting about 5 feet off the ground, in the crook of a forked branch of the tree. i rememeber Denny whispered something to me. i didn't hear him initially, so when i leaned in to hear him as he repeated himself, he kissed me quickly right on my lips. i remember feeling my face heat up, my cheeks i know were red as strawberries. i screamed, "why did you have to do that?" as i shoved him from the branch to the ground. the big baby started crying & ran to his Gramps to be consoled. of course, then my daddy wanted to know what happened. i wasn't afraid to tell him either. my dad & Gramps stood there & laughed til they cried. as Denny still cried. LOL funnily enough, when he tried to kiss me again 4 yrs later, we weren't in that tree...and i certainly didn't ask him why he did that...OR shove him down. and yanno, to this day, i still do not know what that boy said to me that day in the tree...

Q3) Have you ever seriously vandalized someone's property?
A) who me?! nooooo. i couldn't. ::hides spray paint cans & toilet paper rolls::

Q4) Have you ever song in front of a large group of people?
A) yes. i sang all thru out high school, performing in groups & solos. plus there's always bar karaoke. LOL

Q5) Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
A) yes. but in my defense...well yah. it was in my defense.


Q6) What is the 1st thing you notice about your preferred sex?
A) their eyes & their lips. a friend & i were just discussing this last night...hmmmm.

Q7) what turns you off?
A) liars. i don't deal well with dishonesty.

Q8) what do you order from Starbucks?
A) usually either a venti caramel macchiato, except during fall months & i'll grab a pumpkin spice latte. if i'm not getting one of these two, it'll be a java chip frap or a soy chai-no water.

Q9) what's your biggest mistake?
A) mistakes? i make plenty. daily. i believe sometimes making a mistake is the only way we learn.

Q10) have you ever hurt yourself on purpose?
A) emotionally. yes. but that's because i took chances on something or someone. but i'd rather love and lost, than to never have loved at all.


Q11) quick say something totally random about yourself..
A) i have a streak of amber, in the iris of my right eye. it's very noticeable since my eyes are blue/green.

Q12) has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
A) in HS, my friend's dad said i looked like Sara Gilbert, who starred as Darlene Conner on the sitcom, Roseanne. ironically, my parenting style, some 20 years later, is probably closer to that of Roseanne's character. i probably look more like her too.

Q13) Do you ever watch kiddie movies or TV shows?
A) almost everyday. if i'm watching it, it's usually with my tween daughter or my son. iCarly roolz!

Q14) did you ever wear braces?
A) yep. and when they were removed, the enamel came off w/ the brackets. i spent 2 yrs in braces to still have borked teeth. niiiiice.

Q15) are you comfortable with your height?
A) i'd love to be an inch or two taller. but i've accepted my height (or challenge there of) long ago. i've been 5'3" since i was in the 8th grade.


Q16) whats the most most romantic thing a person of the opposite sex ever done for you?
A) i'm really into simplicity. i think it is probably when my friend, while scraping my windshield, insisted on me sitting in my car to keep warm, as he was pelted with rain & ice.

Q17) when do you know its love?
A) when you simply cannot picture your life without that person. you've reached a plateau of love. not to be confused with being inlove.

Q18) do you speak any other languages?
A) in all truthfulness, i do know several signs from ASL & i probably know just enough Spanish to get my ass beat down.

Q19) Have you ever been to a tanning salon?
A) yep.

Q20) Have you ever ridden in a limo?
A) yes. when i got married. prolly won't do THAT again. the marriage part. as for the limo, i'd crawl back in. anytime.


Q21) What is something that really annoys you?
A) ignorant people! Self imposed ignorance is the worst. if people choose to be ignorant by their own accord or b/c they have no ambition or desire to be anything but ignorant. i have high tolerance for about anything but that...

Q22) What is something you really like?
A) sushi. and there are not enough Sushi places in my town. see for yourself here? (the one is low rated & the 2nd one is over 25 miles away)

Q23) can you dance?
A) anyone can dance. the true question is "can i dance well?" eeeee...no.

Q24) have you ever been been rushed by ambulance to the emergency room?
A) not yet.

Q25)now tag five people
A) @MzFuller8, @detailoring, @wbahner, @grnladybug, @seriouslysweet

go forth. post.